I don’t hear anyone.
The people around us are blurs.
I can’t stop smiling. I love I don’t want to.
I look at Darren. He’s somewhere else. I tap his leg; he’s back.
His smile is engineered. It’s like that a lot.
“Tomlinson?” the clerk yells.
We’re next.
Darren’s disappearing again.
When we met he was so beautiful.
He laughed at me then…a second time, too.
His hair’s thinning now. His waistline’s going the other way.
“Jackson?”
That’s us.
I take his hand. I’m still smiling.
Sixteen feet to the finish line.
He didn’t invite anyone today. Me neither. He’s enough.
Three years after we met, we slept together. He tells people he was drunk. After he came in me, he didn’t look me in the face the rest of the night. Not once.
We step before the judge and Darren’s jaw is grinding.
“We are gathered here—” He’s still holding my hand.
My heart’s pounding.
He said we’d never happen. That sex was a mistake. Then he screwed my three best friends.
They all moved, though. His friends and mine. Ten years back now, I think.
But he stayed. So I stayed.
He’s had four jobs in five years. Fired twice. A handful of relationships, but they all left him.
But I did well. I know he likes nice things.
I invited him out at all his lows. His eyes always showed pity. Mine—happiness.
Now he looks reluctant.
I brush his tailored suit so his eyes remember: my houses, the allowance, the freedom to be a failure.
It breaks him. It always does.
He almost said no. The vows part was too much.
I removed them.
The kiss is coming. Just two words and it’s finished.
We’ll make a life together. Him in the past. Me in the moment.
“Do you take—” A bead of sweat drips down his cheek.
I take his other hand.
My eyes show him the mirror will never be kind to him again.
My smile reminds him his imagination is the only place where he’ll be great.
A squeeze of my hands say my patience is stronger than his cruelty.
“I do,” he says.
The light in his eyes goes out. I’ll get to replace it.
“—to be your lawful wedded husband?”
The journey’s over. I finally can say—“I won.”