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I’ve got a prime wall spot tonight! People are just starting to arrive and already in walk two sexy mad hatters in french maid tights and top hats. The storybook version never had twentysomething tits like those. Pushed up and pouting! I’ll get them loose later—no doubt! For now, everyone’s just standing around. My time’ll come.
Daniil drops off a few more bottles and some juice. I can read his buyer’s remorse. Half a month’s rent’s on this table and he’s worried the crowd’s gonna thin and ruin his chances to get into Caitriona’s pants. I tell him, “Just keep pouring, mate. We’ll find a way.” She was madhatter #2, btw. I’ve already overheard her tell Helena she’s here to forget and get some attention. Her last date was a distant asshole and tonight she wants to feel attractive. I’m gonna get her so fucked up she won’t even recognize Daniil.
He’s back dropping sandwiches and their smell is making me roil. Why the fuck does he put this out? It just slows shit down! The goal here is to remember nothing and let go. Food just gets in the way. Sure enough, Mishone walks over, grabs two and flips me an ugly look like she knows some shit everyone else doesn’t. Holier than though, stuck up bitch!
Now it’s pumpin! The place is rammed and everyone keeps comin’ to me. There’s ass grabbing, tons of laughing and I’ve become everyone’s best friend. A few try to keep it brief but my sweet voice keeps them sticking real close. Fucking told you! This spot is perfect!
Daniil’s swaying a bit and leans hard on the wall next to me. I top him up. I’ve seen him passin’ Helena but not sayin’ anything. I tell him, “You got this! Have one more and tell that bitch, you’re the shit!” He smartly heeds my advice, downs a big gulp of liquid courage and stumbles off to find her. I can’t help but laugh. Weak motherfucker.
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Damn, Mishone…again. And the cunt stands with her back right…fuckin’…in front of me! Ain’t that some shit!? What!? She’s pullin’ people to the damn sandwiches and gettin’ all charming and shit. And they’re taking the bait!
Ah! Thank god, Helena. She looks like she’s been cryin’. Of course, I’m right there to comfort her. I tell her she’s beautiful but she doesn’t believe me. I persuade her to have another drink to make her more pliable. Minutes later, she’s believing my lies and I have her eating out of the palm of my hand. Daniil comes back and that’s when shit gets messy. I’m pulling him aside telling him not to be a pussy and take what’s his! I grab Helena and tell her she’s not gonna find anyone cause she’s getting uglier by the day and to just accept whatever comes. She’s trying to fight me off but I’m not letting go.
Goddamnit! Fuckin’ Mishone. This self-righteous bitch calls me a fucking liar in front of everyone. I call Helena back to me. Her self-doubt makes it easy but Mishone tries to rescue her. We fight for control and Helena reaches for me but sober cunt Mishone shoves me and I can feel myself tipping. Daniil leaps, trying to save me, but his dumb drunk ass hits the table instead and the cheap legs buckle and I’m sliding down the front. Two seconds later my bowl smashes and I’m washed out over the cheap filthy linoleum.
After all I did for that pussy, he ignores me and starts begging Helena for forgiveness like a weak ass chump. But three loyal teenage fools know whose the man and start tongue slurping me up. Gotta love ‘em…and start ‘em early. Pathetic Daniil keeps pleading, saying the whole night was for her then blames being an asshole on me before racing to a potted plant to vomit. That Mishone bitch passes me a satisfied grin and leads crying Helena out to a waiting Uber. Last thing I hear her say is she wishes she’d never met me.
Fuck them!
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I’ve got a prime wall spot tonight! People are just starting to arrive and already in walk two sexy mad hatters in french maid tights and top hats. The storybook version never had twentysomething tits like those. Pushed up and pouting! I’ll get them loose later—no doubt! For now, everyone’s just standing around. My time’ll come.
Daniil drops off a few more bottles and some juice. I can read his buyer’s remorse. Half a month’s rent’s on this table and he’s worried the crowd’s gonna thin and ruin his chances to get into Caitriona’s pants. I tell him, “Just keep pouring, mate. We’ll find a way.” She was madhatter #2, btw. I’ve already overheard her tell Helena she’s here to forget and get some attention. Her last date was a distant asshole and tonight she wants to feel attractive. I’m gonna get her so fucked up she won’t even recognize Daniil.
He’s back dropping sandwiches and their smell is making me roil. Why the fuck does he put this out? It just slows shit down! The goal here is to remember nothing and let go. Food just gets in the way. Sure enough, Mishone walks over, grabs two and flips me an ugly look like she knows some shit everyone else doesn’t. Holier than though, stuck up bitch!
Now it’s pumpin! The place is rammed and everyone keeps comin’ to me. There’s ass grabbing, tons of laughing and I’ve become everyone’s best friend. A few try to keep it brief but my sweet voice keeps them sticking real close. Fucking told you! This spot is perfect!
Daniil’s swaying a bit and leans hard on the wall next to me. I top him up. I’ve seen him passin’ Helena but not sayin’ anything. I tell him, “You got this! Have one more and tell that bitch, you’re the shit!” He smartly heeds my advice, downs a big gulp of liquid courage and stumbles off to find her. I can’t help but laugh. Weak motherfucker.
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Damn, Mishone…again. And the cunt stands with her back right…fuckin’…in front of me! Ain’t that some shit!? What!? She’s pullin’ people to the damn sandwiches and gettin’ all charming and shit. And they’re taking the bait!
Ah! Thank god, Helena. She looks like she’s been cryin’. Of course, I’m right there to comfort her. I tell her she’s beautiful but she doesn’t believe me. I persuade her to have another drink to make her more pliable. Minutes later, she’s believing my lies and I have her eating out of the palm of my hand. Daniil comes back and that’s when shit gets messy. I’m pulling him aside telling him not to be a pussy and take what’s his! I grab Helena and tell her she’s not gonna find anyone cause she’s getting uglier by the day and to just accept whatever comes. She’s trying to fight me off but I’m not letting go.
Goddamnit! Fuckin’ Mishone. This self-righteous bitch calls me a fucking liar in front of everyone. I call Helena back to me. Her self-doubt makes it easy but Mishone tries to rescue her. We fight for control and Helena reaches for me but sober cunt Mishone shoves me and I can feel myself tipping. Daniil leaps, trying to save me, but his dumb drunk ass hits the table instead and the cheap legs buckle and I’m sliding down the front. Two seconds later my bowl smashes and I’m washed out over the cheap filthy linoleum.
After all I did for that pussy, he ignores me and starts begging Helena for forgiveness like a weak ass chump. But three loyal teenage fools know whose the man and start tongue slurping me up. Gotta love ‘em…and start ‘em early. Pathetic Daniil keeps pleading, saying the whole night was for her then blames being an asshole on me before racing to a potted plant to vomit. That Mishone bitch passes me a satisfied grin and leads crying Helena out to a waiting Uber. Last thing I hear her say is she wishes she’d never met me.
Fuck them!
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[vc_row full_width=”stretch_row” content_placement=”top” css=”.vc_custom_1659446935762{padding-right: 4% !important;padding-left: 4% !important;}” el_class=”times homehide”][vc_column width=”1/4″ el_class=”sasasa” offset=”vc_hidden-xs”][vc_column_text el_class=”times lett2″ css=”.vc_custom_1658955690238{padding-bottom: 15px !important;}”](LAST UPDATE: October 3, 2022)
HI!
JUST A SOMETIMES CYNICAL,
ASPIRING WRITER HERE CREATING
BITE-SIZED STORIES WITH FUN,
ORIGINAL ART FROM MY DUSTY
BROOKLYN STOOP.
MY DAY JOB KINDA BLOWS, SO
YOUR SUPPORT GETS ME A STEP
CLOSER TO DOING THIS FULL TIME.
AND JUMP ON MY EMAIL LIST FOR
UPDATES, TOO.
MARTIN[/vc_column_text][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnd3dy5idXltZWFjb2ZmZWUuY29tJTJGdG9tb3Jyb3dzdmlnJTIyJTIwdGFyZ2V0JTNEJTIyX2JsYW5rJTIyJTNFJTNDaW1nJTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZ0b21vcnJvd3N2aWcuY29tJTJGd3AtY29udGVudCUyRnVwbG9hZHMlMkYyMDIyJTJGMDUlMkZidXltZWFjb2ZmZWUucG5nJTIyJTIwc3R5bGUlM0QlMjJtYXgtd2lkdGglM0ElMjAxMjBweCUzQm1hcmdpbi10b3AlM0EyM3B4JTNCJTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGYSUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnd3dy5wYXRyZW9uLmNvbSUyRnRvbW9ycm93c3ZpZyUyMiUyMHRhcmdldCUzRCUyMl9ibGFuayUyMiUzRSUzQ2ltZyUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGdG9tb3Jyb3dzdmlnLmNvbSUyRndwLWNvbnRlbnQlMkZ1cGxvYWRzJTJGMjAyMiUyRjA1JTJGcGF0cmVvbi5wbmclMjIlMjBzdHlsZSUzRCUyMm1heC13aWR0aCUzQSUyMDEwMHB4JTNCbWFyZ2luLXRvcCUzQTEwcHglM0IlMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZhJTNF[/vc_raw_html][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnd3dy5wYXlwYWwuY29tJTJGZG9uYXRlJTJGJTNGaG9zdGVkX2J1dHRvbl9pZCUzREdESjc1SFU0TERWNVklMjIlMjB0YXJnZXQlM0QlMjJfYmxhbmslMjIlM0UlM0NpbWclMjBzcmMlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnRvbW9ycm93c3ZpZy5jb20lMkZ3cC1jb250ZW50JTJGdXBsb2FkcyUyRjIwMjIlMkYwNSUyRnBheXBhbC5wbmclMjIlMjBzdHlsZSUzRCUyMm1heC13aWR0aCUzQSUyMDkwcHglM0JtYXJnaW4tdG9wJTNBMTBweCUzQiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmElM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1658948975355{margin-bottom: 30px !important;}” offset=”vc_hidden-xs” el_class=”qfsdsd”][vc_column_text el_class=”sans1″]
THIS WEEK’S STORY:
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Distilled Pt. 1
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TOMORROW’S VIG NEWSLETTER
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[/vc_column_text][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row el_class=”times homeshow”][vc_column][vc_row_inner css=”.vc_custom_1658930916678{margin-bottom: 30px !important;}”][vc_column_inner][vc_column_text el_class=”sans1″](LAST UPDATE: October 3, 2022)
THIS WEEKS STORY:
Distilled Pt. 1
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”qfsdsd”][/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][edgtf_social_share][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text el_class=”times sagds”]HI!JUST A SOMETIMES CYNICAL, ASPIRING WRITER HERE CREATING BITE-SIZED STORIES WITH FUN, ORIGINAL ART FROM MY DUSTY BROOKLYN STOOP.
MY DAY JOB KINDA BLOWS, SO YOUR SUPPORT GETS ME A STEP CLOSER TO DOING THIS FULL TIME. AND JUMP ON MY EMAIL LIST FOR UPDATES, TOO.
MARTIN[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″ offset=”vc_col-xs-4″][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnd3dy5idXltZWFjb2ZmZWUuY29tJTJGdG9tb3Jyb3dzdmlnJTIyJTIwdGFyZ2V0JTNEJTIyX2JsYW5rJTIyJTNFJTNDaW1nJTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZ0b21vcnJvd3N2aWcuY29tJTJGd3AtY29udGVudCUyRnVwbG9hZHMlMkYyMDIyJTJGMDUlMkZidXltZWFjb2ZmZWUucG5nJTIyJTIwc3R5bGUlM0QlMjJtYXgtd2lkdGglM0ElMjAxNTBweCUzQm1hcmdpbi10b3AlM0ExMHB4JTNCJTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGYSUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″ offset=”vc_col-xs-4″][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnd3dy5wYXRyZW9uLmNvbSUyRnRvbW9ycm93c3ZpZyUyMiUyMHRhcmdldCUzRCUyMl9ibGFuayUyMiUzRSUzQ2ltZyUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGdG9tb3Jyb3dzdmlnLmNvbSUyRndwLWNvbnRlbnQlMkZ1cGxvYWRzJTJGMjAyMiUyRjA1JTJGcGF0cmVvbi5wbmclMjIlMjBzdHlsZSUzRCUyMm1heC13aWR0aCUzQSUyMDEzMHB4JTNCbWFyZ2luLXRvcCUzQTEwcHglM0IlMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZhJTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″ offset=”vc_col-xs-4″][vc_raw_html]JTNDYSUyMGhyZWYlM0QlMjJodHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRnRvbW9ycm93c3ZpZy5jb20lMkZob21lLW5ldyUyRiUyMyUyMiUyMHRhcmdldCUzRCUyMl9ibGFuayUyMiUzRSUzQ2ltZyUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGdG9tb3Jyb3dzdmlnLmNvbSUyRndwLWNvbnRlbnQlMkZ1cGxvYWRzJTJGMjAyMiUyRjA1JTJGcGF5cGFsLnBuZyUyMiUyMHN0eWxlJTNEJTIybWF4LXdpZHRoJTNBJTIwMTEwcHglM0JtYXJnaW4tdG9wJTNBMTBweCUzQiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmElM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_empty_space height=”50px”][vc_column_text el_class=”sagds”]TOMORROW’S VIG NEWSLETTER
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